In the moment Oct. 15

time: 11:37 am
location: my brother’s house
drinking: water
eating: nothing yet, but it is almost lunch time
watching: nothing
feeling: relaxed
loving: the smell of what my SIL is fixing for supper
thinking: I do like fall
making: Christmas ornaments for the guild sale
wanting: something I can’t have — a cat of my own
needing: nothing right at this moment
reading: Magic slays
enjoying: watching my nieces home school
avoiding: thoughts of work
wishing: I could have more vacation time here. The weekend plus has just flown by.
hoping: I can avoid involvement in certain things at work.
missing: my own chair

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In the middle

I really hate being in the middle.

Family tensions, where I am the one who has good relations with both sides, are enough to drive anyone nuts.

Sometimes this forces me to be a go-between. Sometimes it’s better just to keep my mouth shut. Judgment comes into play in deciding which time is which. Most of the time, I do keep my mouth shut. Annoyance is not all that important. But genuine pain is. And what I really hate is that it is justified pain, ’caused by — I don’t know — laziness? selfishness? indifference? resentment?

God grant me wisdom to know what to do. This time I did say something; hopefully the lesson will stick without repetition, because it is only with repetition of the resultant action that a true benefit/healing will take place.

I really do not enjoy this.

A quiet month

Considering how much I like being home, I travel a good bit. On the other hand, I like traveling. What’s the problem?

Oh, yes, of course, TIME!

I firmly believe that quality time doesn’t happen without quantity time, and since I live a considerable distance from my family and dearest friend, I have to visit. And being the single one, I tend to be the visitor and not the visitee. (Well, except for Mom.) So I have to travel.

There are times when I get really tired of it. But it is one of the principles and values things — I believe in family, so I commit to spending time with them, especially since we don’t really keep in touch much by phone and only a little by email. (Well, except for Mom.) And that means I have to visit. So even though there are times when I would really like to stay home for months at a time, it doesn’t happen all that often.

As I get the timing worked out a bit for these visits, I’m trying to figure out if I should also go visit my parents or if they are going to want to come visit me. And when! Dad is a homebody, but Mom likes to come up here and sight-see the museums and the like. And I rather enjoy it too.

But in the meantime, I am enjoying my quiet month.